When Your Nerves Are Shattered and You Don’t Feel Like a Good Mother

If you clicked this, you probably know the postpartum feelings we’re talking about. Maybe it’s the deep sadness, maybe it’s the anxiety, maybe it’s the numbness or the irritation. You don’t think it’s normal, and you want it to change.

First, go here: https://www.postpartum.net/ Postpartum Support International has both voice and text chatlines to walk you through getting help.

Secondly, find some basic coping mechanisms to help you get by until then. Some reader suggestions:

“Put your baby in a safe place, like a crib, and take five minutes to breathe in another room.”

“Text your partner or a friend and tell them how you’re feeling quickly, before you can talk yourself out of it. Give them the ability to help you by letting them know you need help.”

“Have you done basic self-care yet today? Toss the baby in your sling and brush your teeth, eat some food, and drink a glass of water.”

For myself, when my baby couldn’t stop crying and I felt like I couldn’t handle the noise, I put him on my chest in our ring sling, popped in a pair of industrial earplugs, and just soaked in the silence. I could see his breathing, pat his back, and soothe him with my swaying—and still focus on breathing deeply and settling down my exhausted nerves.

Does the thought of using a carrier give you anxiety? Sign up for our newsletter, full of the tips we use with our own baby carriers, as well as info on how to get one-on-one help from us (we’re very friendly and here for you).


Becky Patouhas, social media specialist, has been a babywearing educator since 2013. Her favorite part of her job is a tie between seeing all the cute baby pictures and helping parents get that “I can’t believe I can hold my baby AND eat!” moment. A first-generation American and mom of two small boys, she and her family live in Michigan, where she enjoys volunteering with her local babywearing group. Becky loves her Zypora meh dais (she has two!) because they’re so cushy on her shoulders. She always has a Lightly Padded ring sling in her purse because she loves the soft padding, and she thinks Isle of Skye is the best colorway out there!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *