Adult life is messy, between break-ups, prejudices, money problems, illnesses, and death. In the past, it was seen as pivotal to keep these things hidden from the kids—but now we know that kids pick up on things pretty quickly, and that secrecy often just means that they don’t feel comfortable coming to us about these issues. First, the most common recommendation, but sometimes the most … [Read more...]
5 Positive Parenting Techniques You Can Use in 2019
Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs a person will ever hold. Parenting in 2019 is also extremely different than what it was in 1950 and the techniques we must utilize to help our children grow and become productive members of society must change and adapt to our new culture. Five great, positive techniques that have been emerging center on getting to the root of each behavior and fixing … [Read more...]
A Playful Way To Teach Kids To Control Their Anger
Back in the 1969s, Jean Briggs discovered that the Inuit families she was staying with and studying were very good at controlling any outward signs of anger, both towards Briggs and towards others within the Inuit community. Briggs was also intrigued when she saw an Inuit mother allow her angry child to strike her, only to then cry out in pain. The Inuit tend to discipline children by teaching … [Read more...]
Sick of Nagging your Tween? This 3-Step Method Stops the Struggle
As a parent, how do you get your child to do what you want without resorting to constant nagging? A recommended approach involves three steps: Listen, Limit, Listen. First, listen to your child. Next, set limits with your child, but do so warmly. Last, listen again if your child is upset. This may sound unproductive, but remember, children spend a lot of time in school where they are forced to … [Read more...]
How To Be Your Child’s Consultant, Not Manager
Parents who maintain too much control over their kids’ lives may limit their ability to manage things themselves in the future. A better approach is to become your child’s “consultant” rather than their “manager,” which will help them develop a stronger sense of agency and initiative. This will help them to find the balance between being a compulsive over-achiever on one hand, or drifting … [Read more...]
The Parenting Manual to Avoid
When I became pregnant, the first thing my husband and I did was scream and hug. The second thing was shop for parenting books. We didn’t know much about parenting philosophies at that point. I knew I wanted to try to breastfeed and use a baby carrier (both of which I did), and also that I would never ever resort to screentime (HAH!). We ended up picking out Expecting 411 and Baby 411, and … [Read more...]
Do I Need To Stick To One Parenting Style?
We all have certain preconceptions when we’re expecting our first child. We find our favorite parenting style, read books, text our partners articles on the “right” way to parent in every situation. What happens when we just don’t like parts of our chosen styles? When Rita Kerslake’s daughter turned three months, she realized she didn’t like a lot of things about her own approach to motherhood. … [Read more...]
Have I Trained My Child To Demand Bribes?
Two kids in, my husband and I are out of the “every mistake we make will ruin our children’s lives forever” stage and into the “Meh, when we mess up, it’s a teachable moment for all of us” mindset. It’s more rewarding for everyone involved, and hopefully helps our children to see that it’s okay to change their minds when they find they’re wrong. Bribery is one of those things we’re always … [Read more...]
My Baby Is a Kid Now—So Where’s My Free Time?
When our kids were babies, my friends and I were all in agreement. We didn’t want to have over-scheduled kids who didn’t have time to just play! No chauffeur life for us! As our kids grew, things became more complicated. Some of our neighborhoods had lots of families, but not many kids running around wild to play with. Some of our kids kept asking to join those billions of activities. And … [Read more...]
How to Start a Conversation With Your Introverted Kid
“Hey, bud—how was school today?” “FINE.” “Anything interesting happen?” “Ugh, I don’t want to talk about it!” It was kindergarten, and my husband and I were starting to worry that our son wasn’t enjoying school. Whenever we tried to talk about it on the way home, he got upset; it seemed like he just wanted to stare out the car window in silence. When conference time rolled around, we … [Read more...]