One thing you learn from mommy groups is that all those things you thought you were the only one doing? Half your friends are doing them too! Sleeping in separate rooms is one of those weird secret things I discovered wasn’t so weird after all. It turns out that when you’re chronically sleep-deprived from having young children, you have less tolerance for your partner’s formerly-cute snores or sleep-talking!
Caila Smith of Scary Mommy found the same thing to be true in her marriage. One-on-one private time with her husband, she says, is easy to find, but sleep is the one time that she doesn’t have someone touching her—and she revels in it. Sleeping separately has helped her and her husband be happier and more patient as parents!
—Roughly 2/3 of all couples prefer sleeping separately.
—Be sure to connect and communicate with your partner before bedtime.
—Resist feeling guilty and reframe it as supporting your partner’s sleep hygiene!