How To Be Your Child’s Consultant, Not Manager

Parents who maintain too much control over their kids’ lives may limit their ability to manage things themselves in the future. A better approach is to become your child’s “consultant” rather than their “manager,” which will help them develop a stronger sense of agency and initiative. This will help them to find the balance between being a compulsive over-achiever on one hand, or drifting aimlessly on the other. While this kind of parenting isn’t always easy or stress-free, it does give your child more of a chance to develop the skills needed to effectively run his or her own life.

Key Takeaways:

  • Many parents feel the urge to take control of their children’s lives and the college admissions scandal is a testimony to that fact.
  • When parents think that their children cannot handle their lives themselves and interfere in it, they are giving them a wrong message.
  • When kids feel so little control in their lives, they begin to have depression and anxiety so they need to be given that control.

“But an ultra-hands-on approach can have devastating consequences when it comes to a child’s mental health and ability to thrive.”

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Becky Patouhas, social media specialist, has been a babywearing educator since 2013. Her favorite part of her job is a tie between seeing all the cute baby pictures and helping parents get that “I can’t believe I can hold my baby AND eat!” moment. A first-generation American and mom of two small boys, she and her family live in Michigan, where she enjoys volunteering with her local babywearing group. Becky loves her Zypora meh dais (she has two!) because they’re so cushy on her shoulders. She always has a Lightly Padded ring sling in her purse because she loves the soft padding, and she thinks Isle of Skye is the best colorway out there!

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